Tuesday, November 06, 2007

More Questions, No Answers

Did 10 miles this morning at an average pace of 9:15/mi. That seemed pretty good and made me feel much better about my speed overall. Now this week I want to focus on getting enough sleep and not drinking so much beer. The bottles of beer here are much bigger than at home, 500ml each, and one is really my limit, but more and more frequently (1-2 times a week) I've been drinking 2 in a day. Gotta stop that, I think it's affecting the quality of my runs.


Contemplating the question, "what do my personal experiences of the divine have to do with my ministry, my being a Deacon?" doesn't seem to bring forth any answers, just more questions. Like, "what does my running and my experience of running have to do with being a Deacon?," "What is my ministry?" But so far no answers. Just swirls of general senses or vague desires. That makes a part of me a bit anxious. I'm only here in Cameroon as a VSO Volunteer for about 10 more months, then what am I gonna do? Or, will I choose to do something because it's there that takes me in the wrong direction? (I think that is what I fear more than the first thing.) Fortunately, another part of me trusts that things will become more clear in time. Or maybe they won't and that's what I need to learn.


When I was younger, I was so clear, so certain. Now I am so not. I am much better at coming up with questions than with answers these days.

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